Listening+to+Others+with+Understanding+and+Empathy

=Listening to others with understanding and empathy=

Figure 1: A dog with big ears which reminds us to keep an open mind.

It's simple to say "listen to others with understanding and empathy." In the most conventional way, we usually refer to listening to other people's ideas with an "open mind" (a.k.a. faking a smile, pretending you understand, patiently "listen" while you tune them out, and then finding some bogus excuse that still sounds reasonable to reject the idea). Elementary school teacher reiterate this motto over and over again, hoping to drum this into our skulls. My second grade teacher gave me the lasting impression that it's better to agree with a person's ideas on the surface and not cause conflict over this--my second grade self may not have been good at this, but now, I feel like I could teach a class called "How To Listen To Others With Understanding and Empathy, Especially When You Don't Agree". That's exactly what teachers do too--they humor little kids with their condescending smiles by pretending to agree with their (the kids') fanciful ideas. However, the other interpretation that we generally ignore is listening to others' criticism of //us// with understanding and empathy. Most of us tend to tune out criticism or defensive--we like to think of ourselves as paragons of perfection (even though we know deep down inside that we aren't) and do not react well when we're taken off that pedestal. I, for one, will admit to a certain pride that my ideas generally have some merit--which makes it difficult for me to accept when the others don't agree.

For example, there were multiple times in the process of making the Digital Story when I wanted to tear my hair out. Sometimes, I just didn't agree with other group members' perspectives. Other times, I felt that I was just ignored or not heard. The others didn't always follow my ideas--perhaps because they disagreed with it or it simply couldn't fit the clip. The most agitating of all, however, was none of the above. It was when they criticized my ideas or told me that it wasn't exactly a good idea to put it in--especially when I actually thought the idea was fairly well-thought out. For example, I wanted to include some water statistics in regards to China in the Digital Story, because I felt that the statistics we included were way too general and too common--who here has not heard of the "less than one percent of Earth's water is drinkable"? The topic of our digital story had to do with what the //villagers// felt about basically water in general. Talking about the percentage of Chinese people concerned about water or what percentage actually want to do something to resolve the situation seemed like a more logical link, rather than the generic statistics everyone knows. However, there wasn't a suitable position anywhere in the Digital Story to include--in the beginning, we hadn't figured out where or how we'd include statistics--would we talk about water in general? Or should we open the clip with information about water issues in a more localized area and end with a much broader overview of the water issue and tie this to our lives? By the time the others decided, the project was more or less in its final stages of completion, with music included. Hence, my idea of adding the China statistics was not feasible--the timing was just about right, and if we added the information, it would not only mess up the timing but also seem out of place. Thus, I was not very happy that we were unable to incorporate my idea.

It wasn't until later that I realized I hadn't taken the "rejection" very gracefully, even though it was no big deal. Sure, on the outside, I didn't suddenly transform into a scorned person who is ready to exact revenge or anything dramatic like that, but deep down inside, I was quite upset. I now know that I should sometimes recognize my own fallibility--for example, I tend to be either too cynical and cautious as times, and too idealistic and optimistic at other times. This habit, or at least the taking criticism gracefully aspect of it is one I must improve--it will serve me well in the future when other cannot accept criticism very well.

Figure 2: One of the emails I sent about the water statistics